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There's Something I would like to say to you

As It's only you in the world who reads my blog

I don't know where to start.
but ..I miss you, I missed you. I will always miss you. I know you always wanted to hear this but I was never able to say it. Although It had no name, but whatever we had was beautiful. I tried to put up a strong image of myself. In my new life, in which It didn't mattered, that you have moved on or had someone else in your life, But it Mattered, It mattered like nothing else matters in life, It was the only truth, there were large periods of time were I felt loneliness and everything else had lost its taste. I tried to stay distracted but it was difficult to stay distracted. Moments of silence, all peace and clam , a moment to myself, any reference to love all lead me back to you. Now the problem is, I love you, like I already said. but I don't know whether you love me the same way or not. I know you got in a new life and I will be happy for you if you are happy but I can't always stay uncertain whether you are happy and it will pain me to find out that you are feeling unhappy or lonely yourself. But for your serenity I will tell you that I have learned to control my feelings, I miss you but it's my problem not yours, I won't let it get awkward with any of your relationships.

There are many times you told me to come and visit you and by god swear I was always looking for ways to get to you. There were so many things I wanted to say. so many ways I imagined me saying them. so many mental plans which never materialized. I still have plans. I wish to get the next plane to Kolkata and say all these words in person and I will. Just hold on a little more.

Life is short if you live well Once is enough.

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