Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from August, 2019

Why? (Existential crisis)

I've been caught with my most mortal fear again this morning, existential crisis. Why am I doing anything I am doing? Why am I alive? Why should I get out of bed? - I know the world can go on without me, because everyone is replaceable, then why I should bother? Nothing is essential in front of the cosmos. I'm a speck of dirt in the cosmos and us humans define our own meaning to things, people, circumstances, hence everything is subjective. Based on the feedback I've got, I've been underperforming at work, not meeting my objectives, basically loosing and I hate losing. I want to win because those are the moments which makes me feel alive. I was doing everything in my power to win, there were some weaknesses, but I didn't know they were that significant until I failed. In life, you get the strength or motivation to go through your most difficult times because of some form of motives. It can be fear or love, I did what I did before because I loved doing it, I enj

Life on a fast-track lane

I learned a lot about life on a fast track go-cart lane. And If I'd been observant enough, I could observe this pattern in all forms of life. But there is something in the moments of high intensity when a lot of truth comes out. Be rigorous research, meditation, interrogation, sex, interventions, getting fired, go-cart racing. I observed and learned about different people and their habits positive or negative, which they adopt to succeed in life. My philosophy is simple -1.) Identity what you want, 2.) Visualise that you are going to get it, 3.) Believe you have got it and 4.) with full intensity go after it. Because I believe it's all me. I define all outcomes in life, I have the ultimate control of my life and situations. I hold all the cards. Others use different strategies to win : Some people are straight outright jealous, Some people show that they are your friends but are not, Some people want to put you down, Some people want to stop you from growing, Som

To be really honest...

Hello, world, I have to share something, I have ADHD. I'm pretty sure of it now, I've given the self-assessment test and its 90% conclusive that this is the case. How did I know that I have ADHD? Well, it was because of the feedback I got at my job. It was because I had to leave the situation as it didn't fit my nature. It was because I couldn't do some things well enough in this world. It was because I learned something about me. What does this mean for me and my life? Life's a constant process of self-discovery and figuring out what you're good at. Also, realising you can't do everything so you should play to your strengths. The diagnosis means I've to be more mindful about my weaknesses and strengths. Don't sign up for responsibilities which you're not entirely in alignment with, be it mentally, emotionally or spiritually. What are my strengths, and what am I good at?  I'm good at technology, I'm good at maths, I'm good