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To be really honest...

Hello, world,

I have to share something, I have ADHD. I'm pretty sure of it now, I've given the self-assessment test and its 90% conclusive that this is the case. How did I know that I have ADHD? Well, it was because of the feedback I got at my job. It was because I had to leave the situation as it didn't fit my nature. It was because I couldn't do some things well enough in this world. It was because I learned something about me.

What does this mean for me and my life?

Life's a constant process of self-discovery and figuring out what you're good at. Also, realising you can't do everything so you should play to your strengths. The diagnosis means I've to be more mindful about my weaknesses and strengths. Don't sign up for responsibilities which you're not entirely in alignment with, be it mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

What are my strengths, and what am I good at?

 I'm good at technology, I'm good at maths, I'm good at understanding and figuring the how and why behind anything, I'm good at science. I'm good at finding places to apply my learning, I'm good at seeing the bigger picture. I'm good at empathy and helping people. I'm highly creative and have brilliant ideas. I'm good at making friends. I'm good at convincing and storytelling.

What are my areas of improvement?

I need to figure out what's more important for me at the moment, I need to remember things which happened recently, I need to follow through and get things done. I need to be more assertive. I need to do one thing at a time, I've to continually remove junk from my life, I need to think straight, and I need to be better in tech than I currently am.

How do I feel nowadays after losing my job?

Horrible, I've anxiety attacks every day, It's so scary to get up in the morning and think about what I'll do today. My self-confidence has taken a massive hit. The confidence which took years to build, I've to gather all the broken pieces and put them back together. Apply glue of hard work and persistence and find workarounds to better tackle my weakness in the future.

I really really need to be better at starting and finishing tasks in a reasonable amount of time.

What am I passionate about?

I'm passionate about data science, technology, AI. I've time now, I'll work on myself. I'll do projects and kaggle competitions and upload my work on Github. It's not just about doing what I want, It's also about survival and having a consistent source of income.

I'm passionate about being my own boss, I'm excited about living the life of my dreams.

I'm passionate about helping people.

Why is money so important for me?

I know I need 1500 per month to afford the current lifestyle. I can do this by starting my own business or by doing marketing analytics gigs or joining a company.

Why do I need a job?

Work experience to get a PR, to have a consistent career, for continuous growth. To earn money?

I think money is a shallow reason, there needs to be more than that - I need to be passionate about the field, the impact I'm making the lives I'm improving. There needs to be more than that for how I'm spending my life's energy.

- I really don't need a job, I need hunting jobs.

Assignments - internet entrepreneurship, sales - marketing, freelancing.

How will I put my self together?

I'll create schedules and timelines for myself. I'll dedicate one hour per day for planning and sorting out my tasks for the day.

What are the habits I'm going to change?

I'll get up at a consistent time in the mornings, I'll not look at laptop after 10 pm at night. I'll not use my laptop in bed. I'll exercise three times per week. I'll meditate 20 minutes per day.


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