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The confused me

I have always been a confused soul. Since childhood, I kept talking about random things, strange ideas. Sometimes some people understand few of them and most times they didn't the thing I hate the most is routine. Whereas people say that routine is a critical skill required to be successful. I abhor routine , routine is jejune for me. I think that corrodes a person's creativity, it eats away freedom, tarnishes my personality.

People has always pointed out how confused I was, hell I think that about myself at times. It's not that I can't make logical decisions I can very well, I know the process to make logical decisions. It's seeking & gathering knowledge (data), fitting it to suit your requirement. Find patterns, make predictions. Analyze the data & make logical choices based on that data but the problem is there is so much data.

Secondly, so many opportunities, so many things to do. I try to filter it at times but my brain doesn't allow it, it feels that I'm missing out on something. It's in a constant predilection to learn on eclectic topics.

Moreover, I don't know about my passion, my love. The problem with me is I love a lot of things and I hate to let go on any of them. I can spend countless hours browsing the internet, searching for answers for everything, ranging from psychology to physics to philosophy to literature to business to technology. It's all miscellaneous information, I don't know how my brain can possibly make sense out of this to give me a better life.

I am scared that I will never find my true passion, because I can't categorize myself as a being who has a singular goal. I like a lot of things, I like it all, the more diverse the better. The less seen & known the stranger the better. I like anomalies, I don't know what I'm specifically looking for but I'm looking for the truth.

Philosophy has helped me a lot in finding the truth. So has sociology and science

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