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Retiring before starting

So this is my story of why I vouch to antecedent my retirement, even before stepping into proper career in my early 20's.

I had worked for a multinational company for exactly 21 months and not a day more, was it a deliberate well calculated decisions or was I being capricious.

Well the real reason for me quitting my job was, Because I Wanted To. (more heart less brain)

I know in today's world it's difficult to find jobs, but I know myself and I know I can be diligent for what I want. I can work hard and I can get things if I set my mind to it, Fear as I discussed in my previous post was build to protect us or help us survive. But Survival is not living, at least not living to out full potential. Sometimes the heart knows better what it wants and the mind cannot comprehend it just yet. I followed an instinct, a calling you may say and I know whatever will happen will happen for the better.

There was only one thing on my mind that wanted to go to foreign university to study, and there are multiple reasons for it . Firstly, I wanted to see the world. Secondly, I know better lives exists out there and everybody is on the lookout for better lives... so why not me. Thirdly, one of my very close friend who always had quite a significant impact on my life, also left the country to pursue his dreams of doing masters, which was a huge motivation for me.

Leaving job might seem odd to a lot of people, even I wonder about it every day, I question myself  did I make the right decision, could I have done it along working, I should have been more determined in studying for GRE on my first attempt, I should have have been preparing for it since college because I knew I always wanted to go out for masters. So why didn't I ? What stopped me then ? Why didn't I take the necessary steps ? Maybe I though working for sometime will teach me about the outer world or maybe I was just doing what everyone was doing, Blindly.

Another reason why I quit my job was I had a lot of baggage, I had a lot of things on my mind that I wanted to complete , like some online courses in the profession I wanted to pursue, read about philosophy, read about culture, history, literature, science and to work on my weaknesses ( proficient vocabulary being one of them ). I wanted to be revived as a stronger person after my sabbatical.

The thing about rat race is, even if you win.... you are still a rat.

One thing I abhorred while I was working is the lack of empathy or recognition about other human being in corporate setting, people are treated as mere resources, as item I would say. Day in and day out people crossed my way, never said hello to any stranger in office. Nor did I, because I would be the strange one in the office. Everyone busy with their own lives. Living like this felt less human.

I wanted to experience what a job is like, what corporate life is all about & I think I got a fair deal of that experience and a good idea about how things work in the real life. But that's just not the life for me. I am destined and I would like to call it even prophesied for better things in life. I would agree that financial independence is a thing I long for, But I recon there are more important things in this world, What motivates us to live (maybe art or music or romance). The main reason I quit was because I wanted to rediscover myself, I know the world will not change for me So I have to change for this world and be a more resilient person.

The only concern I have currently is, it appears to me that the things are moving slowly, I wish I was a faster learner, I wish I had agility in my thinking and come up with life defining epiphanies faster.

Instead of just discovering the Whys in life, I also want to improve on the Hows of life. Whats are the last thing on my mind. I want to improve myself & not make the same mistakes again in the future.

BE STRONG - mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally



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